How can you measure someone's happiness? It's easy nowadays, just stalk their social media. Have you ever, I bet you have, stalk your friends' social media such as Instagram, Path, Facebook, whatsoever that made you came to a conclusion, "Gosh he/she have a perfect life"?
Have you ever felt that, you are so alone in this massive world of social media, you are connected to many of your friends yet you are still feel like, "No, I have no friends"?
Many insecurities came up to my mind after I stalk my friends' Instagram. Go to a luxury cafe, have a nice food for brunch that you cannot resist to not to photograph it, have an amateur photo shoot in an "enchanted" forest, go to an art gallery, a museum, and so many places that are good to post on your Instagram or to check your Path in. Yes, you have been there, right?
Because, I have no time, no money, or no friends to do that stuff with. Yes I do have money--but not for that stuff. These social media platform make me realize and went to a deep think, "Do I REALLY have friends?"
Many events in my life that end up me thinking "I have so many fake friends". I know that I should not pour myself with such negativity but I can't bear it. My insecurity towards my friends just grow and grow just because I take a glance at my friends' Instagram. Why I am not invited hanging out with them? Why she's not liking my newest post? Why she's not replying my comment? Why she can have so many friends? And so on and so on.
I miss myself when I'm free with those negative thoughts. I completely do not have any idea that social media could affect me this way. And I really understand that nowadays, someone's level of popularity or "gaulness" is measured by how many likes on their Instagram, how many love they get on their Path, how many "You are so beautiful!" comments on their selfies--oh yeah I completely understand.
And so I also know that those people only show what they want you to see--those luxury cafe, those photogenic foods, those expensive places for hanging out. But it doesn't decrease my insecurity level.
I don't know why I share this on my blog. Maybe because I don't know where to share my thoughts (or my feelings) without sounds so cheesy and pathetic. But this post is pathetic (lol).
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Little Things That Matter
So.. emm.. where do I begin?
Jadi, currently I'm working on my Final Assignment. Masih proposal dan ternyata gue tidak mengalami sleepless night (yet). Tapi tetap aja, mengerjakan Tugas Akhir sambil bekerja bukan hal yang bisa bikin gue tidur tenang, makan tenang, pacaran tenang, dan ketenangan-ketenangan lainnya.
Kemumetan dan kepusingan dalam membuat proposal ini membuat gue bisa senang dengan mudah karena hal-hal kecil. Misalnya, ketika gue nanya suatu hal ke dosen pembimbing lewat WhatsApp dan beliau menjawab pertanyaan gue diakhiri dengan emoji :). Euuh.. rasanya seneng banget.
Atau ketika gue bimbingan untuk kedelapan kalinya, dosen gue bilang "Ya, saya rasa udah beres ini." sementara deadline masih seminggu lagi. Gila itu rasanya... mantap. Mungkin hal tersebut belum termasuk hal kecil ya, itu termasuk hal yang kasih major impact ke gue disituasi saat ini. Tapi... barusan gue habis melengkapi proposal gue dengan nomor halaman. Kalo proposal kan harus beda-beda ya nomor halaman dan posisi-posisinya. Dengan modal google gue pun nyari cara supaya nomor halaman yang beda dengan posisi yang beda pula bisa ada dalam satu file word biar ga ribet saat di-email dan di print. Gue nemu, gue coba, dan gue bisa! Good God, gue seneng banget dan langsung bikin post ini. Saking senangnya.
Well good luck y'all yang sedang mengerjakan tugas!
Jadi, currently I'm working on my Final Assignment. Masih proposal dan ternyata gue tidak mengalami sleepless night (yet). Tapi tetap aja, mengerjakan Tugas Akhir sambil bekerja bukan hal yang bisa bikin gue tidur tenang, makan tenang, pacaran tenang, dan ketenangan-ketenangan lainnya.
Kemumetan dan kepusingan dalam membuat proposal ini membuat gue bisa senang dengan mudah karena hal-hal kecil. Misalnya, ketika gue nanya suatu hal ke dosen pembimbing lewat WhatsApp dan beliau menjawab pertanyaan gue diakhiri dengan emoji :). Euuh.. rasanya seneng banget.
Atau ketika gue bimbingan untuk kedelapan kalinya, dosen gue bilang "Ya, saya rasa udah beres ini." sementara deadline masih seminggu lagi. Gila itu rasanya... mantap. Mungkin hal tersebut belum termasuk hal kecil ya, itu termasuk hal yang kasih major impact ke gue disituasi saat ini. Tapi... barusan gue habis melengkapi proposal gue dengan nomor halaman. Kalo proposal kan harus beda-beda ya nomor halaman dan posisi-posisinya. Dengan modal google gue pun nyari cara supaya nomor halaman yang beda dengan posisi yang beda pula bisa ada dalam satu file word biar ga ribet saat di-email dan di print. Gue nemu, gue coba, dan gue bisa! Good God, gue seneng banget dan langsung bikin post ini. Saking senangnya.
Well good luck y'all yang sedang mengerjakan tugas!
Friday, April 10, 2015
Love is Love
Sebenarnya, I love blogging so much. Gue adalah tipe yang selalu pengen ngungkapin perasaan atau apapun yg gue alamin ke social media. Tapi yah alay banget ga sih dikit-dikit update Instagram, dikit-dikit ganti status Line atau Whatsapp, dikit-dikit update di timeline Line. Jadi blogging menjadi semacam pelarian karena disini bisa cerita tentang semua hal secara sekaligus.
Udah beberapa tahun terakhir gue gapernah blogging lagi. Either karena malas, atau karena udah nggak banya temen-temen gue yang aktif blogging, padahal dulu mah hits banget. Nah, gue kembali tergerak dengan membaca blog temen gue si Awal. Gue jadi inget keasyikan waktu blogging and share whatever the fuck is in our minds.
Saat waktu senggang (engga senggang doang deh), gue suka banget buka situs 9GAG. I am addicted to it! Kalo lagi bete, buka 9gag. Lagi seneng, buka 9gag. Lagi pup dikamar mandi juga bukanya 9gag. Lagi mati gaya, lagi kebanyakan gaya, atau lagi gaya-gayaan bukanya 9gag. Bener-bener source of fun buat gue (desperate banget ga sih source of fun-nya cuma 9gag).
Tapi di 9gag gue bisa tau hal-hal yang lagi hits atau berita-berita internasional terkini disana. Gue waktu tau pertama kali pesawat Jerman jatoh ya dari 9gag. Robbie Williams meninggal ya dari 9gag. Miley Cyrus' phenomenal twerk with Robin Thicke ya dari 9gag. Emma Watson play as Belle di Disney Live Action Beauty and The Beast ya dari 9gag. Olga dan Mpok Nori meninggal dari 9gag, gadeng boong.
But, did you know, 9gag juga ngeshare personal thoughts dari para pembacanya, atau pengalaman pribadi pembacanya, such as deal with feminazis, mereka ketemu mantannya, how alone they are and never have a bf or gf, gitu-gitulah. Dan salah satu topik yang hits adalah about homosexuality. They describe homosexuality in a casual way, it sounds normal, and judge homophobia as a sin.
I was a homophobic. Yeah I said it. Waktu itu, gue pernah lagi ngopi-ngopi lucu sama Tantika, Lukman, dan Yoga. Ngebahas hal-hal penting sampai enggak penting. Dan nyerempetlah ke homosexuality. Gue dengan yakin bilang begini,
"No, I am disgusted with it. Nggak banget"
and then kata Tantika, "Tapi itu kan bukan pilihan mereka. Mereka juga ga pengen jadi begitu"
"Tetep aja. Geli tau ngeliatnya"
Terus kata Lukman, "Gapapa, lu artinya masih punya agama. Masih berpegang sama agama. Tapi ya bener emang mereka mau gimana lagi"
Sampai saat itu, pikiran gue belum terbuka.
Tapi gue rajin ngeliat post 9gag yang banyak tentang homosexuality. Tentang struggle dari gay people yang mau ngaku ke orangtuanya, bagaimana mereka "ditolak" di lingkungan, et cetera. It's sad. Dan blaaar gue nyadar kalau well you can't control your feelings. Sama aja kaya lo yang tiba-tiba ternyata suka sama kakak kelas lo, terus gabisa move on 10 tahun. Atau lo tiba-tiba naksir guru olahraga lo yang masih muda terus gabisa move on ampe lulus. Atau lo masih tetep cinta sama mantan pacar yang abusive, hobinya suka nabokin dan ngata-ngatain lo. You know it's wrong, but you cannot handle it. Sedih kan...
Gue bukannya menyetujui adanya homosexuality, but please people jangan jadi sok benar dengan judge mereka macam-macam. Dengan bilang mereka harus sembuh, pengen mereka sembuh, dan lain-lain. Homosexuality is not a disease, people.
Tapi, kalo kalian gay atau lesbi, bukan berarti juga boleh bangga and wave it around in public. Misalnya tempel-tempelan badan di mall, peluk-pelukan, cium-ciuman di tempat umum. Even straight people doesn't allowed to do so.
Nah semoga pikiran kalian yang tadinya seperti gue bisa terbuka dan respect siapapun yang seseorang cinta. If it's not harm you, why you should be bothered? Love is Love :)
Udah beberapa tahun terakhir gue gapernah blogging lagi. Either karena malas, atau karena udah nggak banya temen-temen gue yang aktif blogging, padahal dulu mah hits banget. Nah, gue kembali tergerak dengan membaca blog temen gue si Awal. Gue jadi inget keasyikan waktu blogging and share whatever the fuck is in our minds.
Saat waktu senggang (engga senggang doang deh), gue suka banget buka situs 9GAG. I am addicted to it! Kalo lagi bete, buka 9gag. Lagi seneng, buka 9gag. Lagi pup dikamar mandi juga bukanya 9gag. Lagi mati gaya, lagi kebanyakan gaya, atau lagi gaya-gayaan bukanya 9gag. Bener-bener source of fun buat gue (desperate banget ga sih source of fun-nya cuma 9gag).
Tapi di 9gag gue bisa tau hal-hal yang lagi hits atau berita-berita internasional terkini disana. Gue waktu tau pertama kali pesawat Jerman jatoh ya dari 9gag. Robbie Williams meninggal ya dari 9gag. Miley Cyrus' phenomenal twerk with Robin Thicke ya dari 9gag. Emma Watson play as Belle di Disney Live Action Beauty and The Beast ya dari 9gag. Olga dan Mpok Nori meninggal dari 9gag, gadeng boong.
But, did you know, 9gag juga ngeshare personal thoughts dari para pembacanya, atau pengalaman pribadi pembacanya, such as deal with feminazis, mereka ketemu mantannya, how alone they are and never have a bf or gf, gitu-gitulah. Dan salah satu topik yang hits adalah about homosexuality. They describe homosexuality in a casual way, it sounds normal, and judge homophobia as a sin.
I was a homophobic. Yeah I said it. Waktu itu, gue pernah lagi ngopi-ngopi lucu sama Tantika, Lukman, dan Yoga. Ngebahas hal-hal penting sampai enggak penting. Dan nyerempetlah ke homosexuality. Gue dengan yakin bilang begini,
"No, I am disgusted with it. Nggak banget"
and then kata Tantika, "Tapi itu kan bukan pilihan mereka. Mereka juga ga pengen jadi begitu"
"Tetep aja. Geli tau ngeliatnya"
Terus kata Lukman, "Gapapa, lu artinya masih punya agama. Masih berpegang sama agama. Tapi ya bener emang mereka mau gimana lagi"
Sampai saat itu, pikiran gue belum terbuka.
Tapi gue rajin ngeliat post 9gag yang banyak tentang homosexuality. Tentang struggle dari gay people yang mau ngaku ke orangtuanya, bagaimana mereka "ditolak" di lingkungan, et cetera. It's sad. Dan blaaar gue nyadar kalau well you can't control your feelings. Sama aja kaya lo yang tiba-tiba ternyata suka sama kakak kelas lo, terus gabisa move on 10 tahun. Atau lo tiba-tiba naksir guru olahraga lo yang masih muda terus gabisa move on ampe lulus. Atau lo masih tetep cinta sama mantan pacar yang abusive, hobinya suka nabokin dan ngata-ngatain lo. You know it's wrong, but you cannot handle it. Sedih kan...
Gue bukannya menyetujui adanya homosexuality, but please people jangan jadi sok benar dengan judge mereka macam-macam. Dengan bilang mereka harus sembuh, pengen mereka sembuh, dan lain-lain. Homosexuality is not a disease, people.
Tapi, kalo kalian gay atau lesbi, bukan berarti juga boleh bangga and wave it around in public. Misalnya tempel-tempelan badan di mall, peluk-pelukan, cium-ciuman di tempat umum. Even straight people doesn't allowed to do so.
Nah semoga pikiran kalian yang tadinya seperti gue bisa terbuka dan respect siapapun yang seseorang cinta. If it's not harm you, why you should be bothered? Love is Love :)
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Just a Simple Conversation
Me: "Baby I think that if I could get my problems positively I'll have advantage from that."
Him: "Cool. Go on, then."
Me: "Bu this guy keeps bothering me."
Him: "It's in him. Just ignore it and go on."
I have a lot of happiness if he agrees with me :))
Him: "Cool. Go on, then."
Me: "Bu this guy keeps bothering me."
Him: "It's in him. Just ignore it and go on."
I have a lot of happiness if he agrees with me :))
Monday, August 19, 2013
Needs Diet?
I've waiting my new sweater arrived and it is today! Sadly, unluckily, it's too small for me... Or am I too big for it? Planning to sell it again anyway. It comes in L size, but I think it fits for those who have M size.
 |
| Mine |
 |
| Actual Pattern |
Soooo anyone?
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Lucky
My college friends just visited me today and somehow our talks make me feels so thankful to Allah for giving me F as my boyfriend. Suddenly I feel so in love with him. :)
We're dating since we're in high school and it has been going for 3,5 years, Alhamdulillah. We've never broke up and our relationship going well, but not smooth, and our problems solved almost easily, thank God.
Me, actually is a spoiled college student who easily cry with my problems. I also often act childish, and that always make F mad because I can make our simple problems seems big, while F usually solve problems in a simple way. But everytime I asked him "What makes you stay with me this far?" his answers is, "Because you make me feel like dating a child.". Is it good? Or bad? Heheheh.
I am so in love with his spirit. In his age now, he already have a job and can buy a motorcycle by himself :) I am so proud!!! Because I know, how much he have to struggle in life. Doesn't mean to be hiperbolic, but it is true. And now, he's still struggling. I hope I have such spirit, too. Love you, Fer. :)
We're dating since we're in high school and it has been going for 3,5 years, Alhamdulillah. We've never broke up and our relationship going well, but not smooth, and our problems solved almost easily, thank God.
Me, actually is a spoiled college student who easily cry with my problems. I also often act childish, and that always make F mad because I can make our simple problems seems big, while F usually solve problems in a simple way. But everytime I asked him "What makes you stay with me this far?" his answers is, "Because you make me feel like dating a child.". Is it good? Or bad? Heheheh.
I am so in love with his spirit. In his age now, he already have a job and can buy a motorcycle by himself :) I am so proud!!! Because I know, how much he have to struggle in life. Doesn't mean to be hiperbolic, but it is true. And now, he's still struggling. I hope I have such spirit, too. Love you, Fer. :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)